Mario Kart Tour

Released on September 25, 2019 on iOS and Android by Nintendo, and developed by Nintendo EPD, Mario Kart Tour attempts to bring classic Mario Kart action to your cellphone.

I've been resisting playing modern cell phone games on my iPhone for quite some time. However, my son has been consistently asking me to download and play Mario Kart Tour with him over the last few months. He's insisted that the improvements Nintendo made to the game over the last couple of years have made the once derided game (he himself put it down quite a bit initially) much more fun. I'll always advocate for playing video games with your children, so I gave Mario Kart Tour a download, not expecting to find much of a game here. I have to admit, though...it's not a bad little game.

Look at these two goofballs

After just a few minutes, it's apparent that Nintendo have nailed the look and sounds of a console Mario Kart game here. The bright, rounded, simplistic, yet aesthetically appealing visuals of the characters and tracks make the jump to your phone pretty seamlessly. As long as you've got even a modicum of a signal, races run smoothly, no matter how chaotic things get onscreen. The characters have that bright, almost Disney-esque charm, from the full roster of Nintendo princesses, to countless variations on Mario, Luigi, Toad, Wario, Waluigi, and the Koopas. A small driver roster was one of the chief complaints against the initial release of this game. Not anymore. At this point, it will be tough for any normal person to acquire even half of the drivers offered here. You might expect some deep cuts like Metal Mario or Pink Gold Peach to appear, but how about Bus Driver Waluigi? Pastry Chef Shy Guy? Lederosen Luigi? I'm serious. At one point, my son and I started joking that Assistant Middle Manager Mario, and Wal-Mart Layaway Associate Bowser were sure to pop-up on the next update.

Where's Fast Casual Sit Down Restaurant Fry Cook Luigi? C'mon, Nintendo! 

All the wacky character voices and upbeat, sunny racing music you'd expect in a console Mario Kart game is here, as well. But what about the gameplay? Well...strangely enough, it kind of works. Instead of a joystick to control your racer, you use your thumbs on the touchscreen, one to control your character's direction, and one to drift, use items, etc. While it took me--not someone who is constantly on their phone--a few minutes to get the hang of things, after a short while, I found the intuitive controls to become, as in most Nintendo games, second nature.
Races really do feel like ones from your general Mario Kart game. Drifting around corners must be mastered to shave time off of a course, items are dispersed everywhere and cause chaos, and, as always, you can be in first place for an entire race solely due to your own personal skill, only to get hit by a blue shell right before the finish line, and then passed by all the other racers. Your car automatically accelerates, and there's no braking per se, but that's wise streamlining, given the touchscreen controls.The actual racing isn't really the controversial aspect here. The frustrating element is the way some of the game's systems are implemented.

Yep, there's still a timing-based Rocket Start...just like in real life!

There aren't necessarily cups won by point-accumulation here like in other Mario Kart games. There are multiple four-race cups that shift based on Nintendo updates, but winning a cup, and sometimes even a race isn't really important. What's important is leveling up your racers, carts, and gliders, so that you can get more points from a race. You get more points from stringing out combos by constantly making jumps, using items, and picking up coins without too long of a lull passing. Yes, points are...the point. Points unlock stars for tour gifts, which include new racers, money, or rubies. You can buy certain racers, carts, and gliders from the in-game store with in-game currency. You can also buy them with...real money. Rubies can be used to fire off tour specific pipes, which hold unique racers, carts...karts?, and gliders. Tours are periodically changed by Nintendo. Currently, as of this review, the cup is based around the Tokyo Olympics, and includes some Tokyo-influenced tracks among its cups, as well as some Mario Kart standards.

 

Need. More. Points. If you'll notice, there's not even a timer for tracks. It's all about the points.

Sound like a lot? For better or worse, that's kind of the point. This game is free to play, or the player can pay $4.99 a month for a gold membership. With the free game, you can get lots of stuff, but with a membership, you can get even more stuff, and even access a faster 200cc race speed, which allows you to get more points to...yes, unlock more stuff. That's it.

 

I need ALL THIS STUFF! and I need it NOW!

Leveling up racers is a ton of fun (you're leveling up how many points they're worth, and thus, how many points you can earn in a race), but unfortunately, there's a cap limit on how much you can level up a racer in a particular day. A gold membership increases this amount, but doesn't make it infinite. This means, unfortunately, that this game is full of walls...and these walls are what hold it back. Mario Kart Tour feels boundlessly ephemeral, like you never really have anything, even when you have everything. But is it fun?

I've had a lot of fun with it, but at the same time, I do find all of the limits quite frustrating. I greatly enjoy the online mutliplayer (otherwise, you're racing relatively skillful bots), which makes it easy to play with friends, but again, you're still facing the same limits. And what happens when Nintendo decommissions the game? Does it no longer exist?

BUT I WANT MORE!!!

I've found that it's best to experience Mario Kart Tour in short bursts each day. Play for 10-15 minutes when you're stuck sitting somewhere, then quit and do the same thing the next day. That way, you're constantly making progress, yet not quite experiencing the frustrations of being told YOU CAN'T EARN ANYTHING ELSE TODAY. At least that way, you'll feel like the boss of your own cellphone game...even though you're not. I will say, I thought I was done with this game a week ago. However, every time I'm sitting somewhere and have three or four idle minutes, I find myself taking on a race or two (races, which only last two laps, are generally only a minute or two long). For all its flaws, I can confidently say, once Mario Kart Tour weasels itself into your consciousness, it is a game you'll want to consistently play.

SCORE: 7.5/10