Demolition Man

Demolition Man, Sega CD, Acclaim Entertainment, 1995

I don't know why, of all the Sega CD games, I decided to play through 1995's Demolition Man. There are dozens upon dozens of more prominent games for the system. I've got all of them. They're all right over there in the corner. I'm not playing them right now, though. I'm playing Demolition Man, a licensed game for a 1993 action film I've never even seen (though I soon plan on remedying that)...and I have no regrets.

More like "Most Awesomest!"

Demolition Man is a 2D action sidescroller. As for buttons:"A" throws a grenade. You've only got a limited amount of grenades, but you can pick up more, and they're everywhere. "B" fires your weapon. You start with a pistol, but can pick up other guns, like a powerful shotgun and magnum. After a few shots with those, you run out of ammo, and go back to your handgun, which has unlimited ammo. You can even just hold down "B" to fire continuously. You can aim with the controller pad, and if you stop running, and hold down "B," you can aim while at a stop. "C" is the jump button. You can jump pretty far, but you can't really turn around in mid-air. The "Start" button pauses the game. That's it!

The 90's had so many good songs about jumping. "Jump Around" was good. Wait, that was the 80's. Oh, yeah, what about "Kriss Kross Makes You Wanna Jump?" I think that was the name of it. Wasn't that the 90's? Yeah?

Demolition Man apparently loosely follows the plot of the film of the same name. You're Sergeant John Spartan, a reckless police officer who was cryogenically frozen in 1996. Now it's 2032, and you've been thawed out to fight your old nemesis, the criminally insane Simon Phoenix, who had also been cryogenically frozen but's come back. And that's...pretty much it. You chase Phoenix around the futuristic dystopian mega-city, San Angeles, fighting him periodically between blasting away thousands of his henchman.

You just wait til I get down there!

The game includes a dozen or so side-scrolling stages, and two overhead view, Smash TV-esque stages. These levels are all fairly straightforward. They often include multiple floors, though there is generally only one path through the stage. The fun comes from the simple, brainless action of the gameplay. The controls are fairly tight, you can generally do whatever you're attempting to do (except correct an errant jump), many parts of the stages, like TV screens, streetlights, and windows, can be destroyed, and the action is frenetic and endless.

Shoot them all! Shoot everything!

From a production level, the graphics are highly-detailed, colorful, excellent pixel-art. This Sega CD version also includes gratuitously grainy movie clips, that don't look so excellent.

Through no fault of Stallone's sick hat.

However, the Sega CD also includes a supercharged electronic rock soundtrack that absolutely slams. It's awesome, a great backing to blow away endless enemies. Outside of the movie clips, there's a little bit of film dialogue spliced throughout the game to make it a little more immersive. These sound okay, but not as good as the game's awesomely over-the-top sound effects, featuring big booming guns, shattering glass, etc. Also, for some reason in the sidescrolling stages, there's a split second after bullets hit your enemies where it looks like you've electrocuted them....which...cool!

Eat lead, slacker! Er, sorry, I don't know any Demolition Man quotes.

Most stages do each have a little something to set them apart from a gameplay standpoint. For example, one level's got a mechanical car parker that's constantly looking to smash you, a monorail level features a constantly moving train with objects that have to be dodged, and a trip to an underground wasteland features plenty of cool, zip-lining action.

You just wait til I get down there! Dammit, I already used that one!

Like most sidescrolling actioneers of its era, Demolition Man is difficult, giving you just a handful of lives and continues, which are easily expended. Thankfully, the game also includes a level-select cheat (A, C, Up, Right, Left at the main menu), which allows you to go back to wherever you were when you got a game over. Thankfully, each stage includes frequent checkpoints, so any time you die, you don't have to start the level over at the beginning...at least until you get a game over. Demolition Man also includes three selectable levels of difficulty, though you can't play through every stage if you select the easiest. Of course, once you've played through the game a couple of times using the level select method, you'll probably have the muscle memory to at least get through the medium difficulty without a game over...which will take about an hour.

"Let's hang out!" Was that a line from the movie? No?

Is Demolition Man straightforward and simplistic? Yes. Did I have a meatheadedly good time blasting through it? Yes! It may be an artifact of its era, frozen in time, but it doesn't deserve to be locked up forever! It's shockingly fun!

Sorry...

Graphics: 8.0/10.0
Sound: 8.5/10.0
Gameplay: 7.5/10.0
Lasting Value: 5.0/10.0
Overall (Not an Average): 7.5/10.0